Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
