If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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