dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize