I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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