i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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