you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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