see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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