His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
