Even the bartender felt bad for me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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