is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
