So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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