just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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