these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
