i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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