I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
