it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
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Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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