I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
