Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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