Operation Purity has been aborted
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
