If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
