return my video game
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.