I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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