Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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