i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
