just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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