Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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