Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
