four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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