if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
