I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
