she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
