Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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