i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
