I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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