Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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