omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
