What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
