she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
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She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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