Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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