YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
