If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
