I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
thus making me awesome and them whores
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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