My room smells like vodka and shame
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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