he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
