Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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