No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
