What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
