4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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