You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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