He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
