I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
