Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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