On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
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I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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