Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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