I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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