i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
