Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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