Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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